#but i think the difference between annabelles first and most recent designs is really funny
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brrdhouse · 3 months ago
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bweirdoctober day one: fav oc
i haven't drawn her in literal years, but my beautiful baby rae <3
she used to be my persona, but there was a stint where i humanized her and made her a black woman and i, as a white man, didn't want to claim that energy lmao
i also haven't done a month-long challenge in.. uh.. ever! i think! very happy to do it this year! i'm gonna try and stay on it, but things happen. i'll at least do the mandatory days haha
more info about her under the cut:
rae! yay!
in her universe, the dying gods made 5 "avatars" of their elements to rule their subjects. rae and her siblings are those elements, with rae representing the stars above, her older brother alifer representing water, evangeline and fire (later stone and metal), and twins casimir and circe with nature and the skies respectively
they have a big war eventually, evangeline has her emo arc, and all of the siblings stop talking to each other and rule their own separate kingdoms
one day, rae just leaves her kingdom and never returns, leaving her subjects floundering while she skips off to do whatever, and that whatever ends up getting her put in hibernation for another thousand years or so
she wakes up to a kid finding her and she takes on a motherly role to him, then she collects two more kids and they become a little adventuring party. her starness makes her really good at prophecy and magic in general so she teaches these 3 kids (now young adults by the time they're all together) magic. yaay cool family unit
the big main character of her universe is a fire sprite named cyl who becomes the "new rae" aka head of the party and kind of leader of another kingdom with the rest of the group
not super important to her backstory, but rae also has endless toxic(? not as toxic as it could be, depends on when we're talking) yuri with a person named friday who keeps getting reincarnated and they find each other in every lifetime, they're cute and i love them and eventually i'll draw them together again (need to ask friday's creator if she has a new design.. i'll do that eventually)
um! ask questions if you want? she's been my main oc since about 2017 so i've been cooking her for a long while
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torestoreamends · 7 years ago
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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Recap – 16/12/17
When I see an incredible performance of Cursed Child there’s normally a moment when I look at the stage and think ‘this is very special, and I need to do everything I can to remember it’. With this performance, that didn’t happen. It didn’t hit me how amazing it was until the next day, when all the tiny little details came flooding back to me, and I slowly realised that every single tiny piece of what I’d just seen was flawless.
Every time I see the show I want to see new things, I want to learn something about the characters, or about the technicalities of the show. I want to take something exciting away with me, some new revelation that can feed my future enjoyment of the world and of the show.
With this one, it felt very average at the time. Everyone did their normal things, no one noticeably brought anything particularly new to the table. It was very standard, very well executed; safe but high-quality. But on reflection, within the things I’ve become so familiar with over the last seven months, were new and exciting things, tiny things, that made the whole show incredibly special. Like a layer of glittery festive icing sugar on top of a very standard but tasty chocolate cake. This one definitely glittered.
I think I might get the things that I wasn’t wildly in love with out of the way first, so nothing gets in the way of the lengthy speech I have planned about how much I adore Mackley, Samuel, and James Howard (among others).
So I had never seen a cover Ron until this show. I’ve seen the show n amount of times, and have now seen the main Ron n-1 times. This started out as luck, but recently became more by design. Anyway, I was resigned to this one. I guessed it was coming, prepared myself accordingly, and now there is no longer a character in the play that I haven’t seen a cover for!
I think I need to see Danny’s Ron again. I always find it weird seeing a cover of a character for the first time, because you spend half the play just getting used to them so you don’t really get a full sense of what it is their doing, and what journey they’re going on. But that didn’t stop me having opinions.
I thought he was great with the more serious stuff. I really enjoyed his second timeline (this was one of the best second timelines I’ve seen all round actually), especially the awkward staircase scene with Hermione. Where he fell down was the comedy. I think the problem came from him replicating what Tom does, and obviously he’s a different actor to Tom. I think he would have been a lot more successful if he’d done his own thing with it.
There were things that are really funny when they’re over-emphasised, and he didn’t really push those things. They would have been great if he’d gone further with them (I’m thinking of the baby or a holiday scene in particular, which had good potential, but I just wanted more of everything). Also, in Act Four I found his Ron more standoffish and sulky than a joker, especially in the church, which really didn’t work for me. He’s a good actor, but definitely not my Ron.
Anyway, moving on to the things I really enjoyed.
Part One
This cast is weird. They’ve always been weird. And what I mean by that is that, in general, their Part Two is a lot better than their Part One. It’s been that way ever since the first show, and I don’t know what it is, but Part One often just feels like set up. The real action begins at the end of Act Two, and that’s when the really brilliant stuff comes out. That’s when they fire up.
However, every month or two, they’ll give a performance where Part One really shines. It’ll come alive, every second of it will be compelling, and I’ll be totally blown away. This was definitely one of those. It was a great Part One.
The fun really started with Mackley’s blanket scene. Last time I saw him do one of these I thought it could have been more explosive, but this one was everything I expect from him. He actually screamed himself into tears, which was really cool.
I didn’t notice it this time, but normally one of my favourite things about a Mackley blanket scene is how the power balance between Harry and Albus changes when he’s on as opposed to Theo. When Theo is Albus, Harry takes a position of physical power in the scene – Jamie stands up and towers over him, while he stays curled up on the bed until near the very end of the scene.
With Mackley it’s the opposite. Albus stands up and positions himself behind the bed head, putting a physical barrier between himself and Harry, and using the height advantage over his dad to make himself big and intimidating in his anger, meanwhile Harry sits on the bed looking up at him. Since Jamie uses his physical positioning in scenes in such a specific way, to emphasise where harry feels he is in the pecking order, I actually love seeing this difference. I find it very cool and very fascinating.
The other great bit of the scene this time was how Mackley screamed in his face. It gave me beautiful flashbacks to the days of Jamie P and Sam, when being nose to nose and yelling was a daily occurrence. I can clearly remember Mackley straining as he shouted, and by the time he got to the end of “no, I just wish you weren’t my dad!” his voice cracked, and Albus went from angry to broken in a heartbeat.
That fracturing at the key moment of the scene, when Albus is his angriest, just shows how much Albus really loves his dad and wants to be loved back, and emphasises his despair in the fact that he thinks it will never be possible to get that love. My friend @eldabe said the most brilliant thing, which I think applies perfectly here: “Mackley’s Albus is just such a unique combination of vulnerable kid and confident teenager”. He is confident, he’s bold, he shouts for what he wants, and inside he’s this mess of a child who just wants love and friendship and adventure, and I think that is what I find exciting about him.
Oh the quiz scene in this show... I cannot overstate how much I adore Samuel and Mackley as a combination. They may not be the most Scorbusy, but I love how much fun they have together. I love how Mackley is enough of a loose canon to keep Samuel endlessly entertained.
Whenever I see Mackley and Samuel together they sparkle at each other. They have this joy in their eyes, and you can see their love of performing and performing together, and you can see how much they’re enjoying themselves. This is particularly the case with Samuel, because every time I’ve seen him with Mackley, there comes a point in the show where he stops doing his job and starts having fun. It stops being a thing he loves that is his livelihood, and becomes a game. He sort of takes flight, and everything becomes effortless, and somehow when Samuel is enjoying himself and when he’s flying, he’s even more Scorpius than he is when he’s really focusing on his craft. It’s not really something I can capture in a description, it’s something you have to see for yourself.
But anyway, in this show, the quiz scene was where Samuel started having fun, and from there the rest of the Part was just pure joy. It was delightful.
I remember one moment very clearly from this scene. When Scorpius says “get that strange look out of your eye”, Mackley turned to Samuel, put his hands on his shoulders, and for the first time ever I got this overwhelming sense of Albus as a hero. In that moment, Albus was the hero of his own story, he was taking control of his life, and he was a force of nature.
Over the shows I’ve seen Mackley do as Albus, I’ve seen the balance between Albus and Scorpius get better and better. The first time, I didn’t even notice Anthony until some point in Act Four, because Mackley and Albus were the star of the show. But the more I see him with Samuel, the more the balance between Albus and Scorpius gets. Albus no longer dominates Part One the way he once did; this quiz scene was the only moment where I really felt he was in control of their partnership.
Ed was in Danny’s track in the St Oswald’s scene. It was aesthetically pleasing. (If anyone doesn’t know why that’s significant... message me and I’ll explain.)
This was only the second time I’d seen Martin as Amos/Dumbledore, and I certainly enjoyed his Amos a lot more this time (I already loved his Dumbledore). It took me until this second show to get used to his voice and the way he plays the character. He feels a lot more solid, and a bit younger than Barry; more tough and up for a fight, and I quite like that. It certainly worked well in the scene at St Oswald’s, where he and Mackley were going at each other. I also love how you can see Delphi getting more and more frustrated with him, because he’s so head strong and difficult to control.
One of my favourite things about seeing Mackley as Albus is getting to see him play not only with Samuel, but also with Annabel. You can see how well they get on and how used to each other they are. The two of them really come alive together. The best example of this is the ‘Wizzo!’ moment.
They don’t decide before they go on what they’re going to do there. It’s pure improv. Annabel comes up with an idea on the spot (presumably something as ridiculous as she can think of) and Mackley has to copy her as if he’s been doing it all along. And then Samuel has to come rushing in and go along with the whole mess. It’s really glorious. (This show’s wasn’t the best one I’ve seen. Annabel confessed last time Mackley was on that she was running out of ideas, and while this one was fine and very ridiculous, Samuel didn’t pick up on it as well as I’ve seen him do before. There have been some truly stellar ones before though.)
The other random thing that I adore about Mackley is how calm he is about the Expelliarmus. It doesn’t look like he’s at all worried about catching the wand. He does the trick a lot slower than Theo, but that actually makes it better, because he’s so confident in it that you never doubt for a second that it‘ll work. It’s always very impressive.
I have been hearing about James McGregor’s Bane for a long time, but have never managed to see him before. However, I finally understood what all the fuss was about (honestly, I got AA16 for the most aesthetically pleasing show ever – Ed as ‘Danny’, James as Bane, and Leah as Polly. Even I was jealous of me.) Anyway, I did just about manage to form coherent thoughts about James’s Bane, which was no mean feat, let me tell you.
He’s a very young seeming Bane. His anger is raw and new. Nuno’s (and Adam’s too from what I remember) feels worldly and developed over years of bitterness and hatred, but James’s Bane has a similar sort of anger to Albus, one that’s just beginning to take flame. It was a really interesting take, and he felt sort of naive in his anger. It made me wonder how long centaurs live, because I always assumed Bane was older by now, but maybe not in centaur years. Anything goes when your character is a magical creature!
I had three favourite things from the First Task scene this time. 1. Josh and James P spelling TWT with their hands at the start of the scene. I’ve seen this before, but it’s normally Mackley and James P, so it was cute seeing James P teaching it to Josh in character at the very beginning of the scene. 2. Before the ‘I love Krum’ chant, Mackley turns his back on the audience, and when it starts he does a Macarena style jump to start the routine. It’s ridiculous, and I love everything about it. 3. Rupert decided he was very very scared of the dragons, and went to hide behind Ed, who ended up right at the front of the crowd.
Also, I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it before, but I love everything Samuel does in this scene (I love everything he does in every scene but whatever). Scorpius gets so excited working out which task it is, and looking around the crowd. He’s so overwhelmed to be part of history, it’s adorable. One of Scorpius’s cutest moments, and one of the (many) parts where you realise how perfect Samuel is.
A really cool thing in the hospital wing scene was seeing how detached Martin’s Dumbledore is from everything. It was so portrait-like. At the end of the scene, when he says ‘and I never had a son’, he wasn’t looking at Harry. It was like he couldn’t bring himself to, or maybe just that a portrait can’t express emotion in that way. Either way it was very interesting, and it goes along with what Martin’s said before about Dumbledore being a grief stricken old man, and very similar to Amos in that sense. That grief and emotion, and the inability to express it (especially at this point in the show) really makes sense.
I will never not love the potent look between Scorpius and Harry, once Albus has run away after telling Scorpius he can’t talk to him anymore. It’s such a guilty, heartbreaking thing. (Also, Mackley’s version of Albus running away is so gorgeous. It’s definitely one of those ‘vulnerable kid’ moments, which are so powerful beside the confident teenager he’s playing earlier in the scene. He so desperately needs his dad that he’s willing to throw everything away with Scorpius for a chance a his dad’s love.)
The DADA scene in this show was absolutely flawless. I’ve never loved Rakie’s Hermione as much as I did this time around. She usually has brilliant interaction with everyone in the scene, but this time in particular she had these really cool moments with all of them. I remember her catching Josh laughing and crouching down in front of him when she said the ‘what limited popularity you’ve got left line’ and then sort of repeating to him a couple of times that he should be quiet, while he looked utterly bemused and a little bit afraid. At one point she also told April off. Having said all that, she was a lot calmer and more contained in this show than others, and I think that was why I loved it so much – she has a tendency to play it too wild for my personal taste.
So last time I saw the play I discovered a new technical detail that I’ve never seen before. In the duel scene, as well as the handles on the back of Harry and Draco’s costumes to help them be lifted more easily, @ohscorbus and I noticed that Draco is wearing a sort of harness under his robes. I noticed it again in this one, and thought it was a fun little thing that’s super subtle and that people might miss.
Anyway, this was a fantastic duel. Possibly Jamie G’s best attempt at a Flipendo ever. He landed perfectly on his feet, and I was incredibly impressed. I think he was impressed too, because he ended up in the wrong place for the next spell while he was recovering from doing so well! He had to run across the stage, which I’ve never seen him do.
The best bit, though, was the bit after the duel. James Howard was exceptional in this one. He was the person in particular who didn’t anything especially stunning, but he exuded Draco to an extent I’ve never seen before even from him. Every detail was beautiful, and on reflection those details were even more breathtaking than they felt at the time.
I love it when he speaks so softly as he says “don’t lose the boy”. Draco means that line with every part of his soul. That experience and that sentiment is what makes him such a good and caring dad. He gets that sort of thing. He understands and identifies with Albus, whether or not he knows it, and that softness, the deliberateness, just proves it. I far prefer a quiet delivery to the louder ones. Counter-intuitively, it makes it much more direct and impactful.
I don’t know if I’ve said it before, but Samuel’s library scene is a work of art. Truly, it is a masterpiece. And I mean that in the highest sense of the word. Every single thing he says and does is so carefully crafted, into this wash of emotion and atmosphere. He holds the audience in the palm of his hand. This scene is why I want to have words with everyone who hasn’t given him an acting award yet. Because really. Really really.
Anyway, this was one of the best. This was beautiful. Because not only was Samuel firing on all cylinders, but Mackley was too. This was another instance of Mackley yelling himself into tears, and Samuel responded with emotion and anger and all the power and strength that Scorpius has inside him.
It was an angry, loud one. The tears were angry tears. And yet the bit about Astoria was so soft. (Don’t get me started on Samuel’s dynamics. I could write a novel.) Actually though, the best bits of stillness and quiet came in the second half of the scene.
One of the things Mackley does so incredibly well is having the confidence and courage to be absolutely still and hold an emotion on stage. He does it after Albus’s sorting, and he did it again here.
When they emerged from beneath the Invisibility Cloak he just stood at the back of the stage looking at Scorpius for the longest time, totally silent and still, and when he moved forward it was tentative and nervous, like he didn’t know if he was allowed to be near Scorpius anymore. The whole interaction was soft and slow and full of silent tension. Samuel always takes so long to say “thanks”, and normally Theo is waiting to jump straight back in again and go on with the apology, but Mackley didn’t. He took a pause that only built the tension and atmosphere between them.
When the hug in this scene finally came, Albus hugged Scorpius so hard that he actually lifted him off his feet. Samuel was not expecting that. He was so determined that Scorpius should not hug Albus back, that he ended up flailing his arms and feet around in the air in an attempt to kill his instincts for self-preservation. It was very sweet.
A final note on Part One. April has changed the line “girls and boys” to “boys and girls” a couple of times now. It makes the line feel very weird, but it is quite entertaining. I’d like to know if it’s deliberate, because she’s so confident about it that you really can’t tell.
Oh and one more, because I can’t help myself. I love how when Myrtle flirts with Scorpius, Samuel closes his robes over himself and makes himself all small, and then when she flirts with Draco, James hunches his shoulders and makes himself as small as he can too. It’s so sweet to see how much they really are father and son. These Malfoys are perfection.
It was an utterly gorgeous Part One. I loved every second of it, and it got me very excited for Part Two.
Part Two
This Part Two was such a slow burn of feelings that even now, over forty-eight hours later, I’m still suffering. I got very little from it in the moment, but it continues to slay me, which is a good part of why I’m writing this recap! The more I think about it, the more I love it. So I shall now make myself love it even more...
Samuel corpsing is my favourite thing. His ambition in life seems to be to make everyone on stage with him break, so to see someone else break him is a thing of beauty. I’m beginning to wonder if actually Elizabeth is trying to make him crack in the first scene of the act, by getting creepier and creepier. Anyway, whether it was deliberate or not, I think she managed it.
She sort of stroked Samuel’s cheek in this chillingly creepy way, and I’m pretty sure Samuel lost it for a bit. He was still sort of half grinning, half laughing in the next couple of scenes. But like I say, it’s difficult to tell sometimes if he’s broken or not, because he spends so much of his time smiling, and he also has Scorpius do all these anxious smiles when he’s very afraid, which he definitely is in this scene.
I love Leah’s Polly. I don’t think I have anything more to say about it than that... She’s great. I hope she stays next year and gets promoted, because she’s definitely my favourite Polly ever.
So the scene in Draco’s office. This has become (perhaps it’s always been) my favourite scene in the show. I love it with everything I have, and I love watching Samuel and James’s version – every one of their versions of it.
This was a very standard version of the scene. It had all the normal stuff that I’ve come to expect from these two. Samuel cried, Draco came out from behind the desk when I expected him to, Draco grabbed Scorpius’s chin and studied him... The usual.
Except this scene, on reflection, was so far from usual. It was stunning. Stunning for two main reasons.
First, when Draco emerged from behind the desk, he glanced over his shoulder at the door before saying “did your mother really say that of me?” I’ve talked to James about the possibility of Draco being undercover in this world, and I sort of take that as read in his portrayal at this point. So this glance over his shoulder was wanting to make sure no one would overhear this dangerous thing: how desperately he wanted to confirm that Astoria had said he was brave.
Second, after the chin grab he turned round and braced himself on the desk. This is powerful enough already, because he simply can’t face Scorpius when he says “can’t lose you too”. He’s trying to stay strong, but he knows he’ll break if he looks Scorpius in the eye. However, in this version there was an added level of potency.
As he said the line he ran his fingers round the edge of his wedding ring. He was so obviously thinking of how much it hurt him to lose Astoria, he doesn’t want anymore of her light to leave his life. Scorpius, this Scorpius in particular, is the last piece of hope that he has left to hold onto. He needs Scorpius so much in that world. Scorpius is his inspiration to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep up his Malfoy front and be who his family needs him to be. That single little run of fingers round the wedding ring has caused me a lot of pain in the last day or so. James is so rude, but I love him for it.
David’s writing on the blackboard is getting more obscure by the day, which is fun, but also a bit frustrating. It’s gone beyond the point where I know the phrase or can easily find it through google. This show’s one was ‘sapienter di-‘ so if anyone has any Latin intel and can help out with a translation, let me know!
Why is it that the covers are so good at getting hooked onto the Dementors, when the main actors do it every day and are still rubbish? I find it mind-boggling. Anyway, if Danny and Nicola ever end up doing a show together it will be the most stress-free Voldemort timeline we’ve ever seen.
I want to know what Draco says to Scorpius during their walk up to the castle together after the boys have returned from the lake. You can always see Draco talking to Scorpius, maybe telling him off, during the end of the scene by the lake, but he can’t be all angry, he must also be so relieved. I’d love to hear all that... I wonder if maybe after Draco is done telling Scorpius off he just stops talking, and it’s tense, awkward silence for the rest of the walk.
Josh as Karl in the bit with the kids eavesdropping on McGonagall’s office is really cute. Normally Mackley’s Karl does such a good job of comforting Rose, it’s one of his most lovely scenes, but Josh’s Karl really does not. He has no idea what to do. Craig and Yann end up coaching him through it, telling him he’s closest to her so he has to do something, telling him what it is he needs to do. And in the end all Josh’s Karl can manage is a really awkward little pat on the shoulder.
Mackley’s Albus’s relationship with Harry really shines in Part Two. This is also where we see the ‘confident teenager’ part of his personality come out. He’s so bold in his interactions with Harry. Where Theo’s Albus turns away, avoids eye contact, almost hides himself, Mackley’s Albus does the opposite.
In the dorm scene, when they’re sitting on the suitcase, Mackley has Albus turn to face his dad right from “Really scared you?” It turns from being slightly bitter and disbelieving to a real question, and Harry’s response to it shifts, towards amazement that his son doesn’t understand how scared he is of everything. It’s a real step on their journey, that with these two comes from Albus’s boldness.
The beginning of Scorpius and Albus’s dorm scene feels so empty without the pillow fight these days. It’s very weird.
The Owlery scene was pretty great in this one. Annabel and Mackley get on so well together that their interactions are brilliant, and then you have Samuel on the edge figuring things out on his own.
Scorpius realising Delphi was evil was really cool this time. He said “I don’t believe you were ever ill” so softly, like he was just disappointed in her. Disappointed and upset. She’d let him down by lying to him, when all he wanted was to trust her like Albus did. It was a lovely take on the moment.
Also, Annabel was kind of grabby, touchy feely with the boys. Delphi patted Scorpius on the knee; help Albus’s face, all the good stuff that makes her extra creepy.
This torture scene wasn’t just good, it was revelatory. Ever since the 17th of September, when I first saw Mackley with this cast, I’ve been on something of a journey of discovery with this scene. In that show, this scene really confused and disconcerted me. I found Mackley’s take on it so far from my concept of Albus (which he normally matches up with so well) that I was completely thrown off. And then, of course, I saw Theo do the same things that I’d seen Mackley do, but for some reason I preferred them then. So I’ve been figuring this one out, talking about it a lot, trying to understand where both Theo and Mackley are coming from, and I think I finally get it.
Mackley has Albus almost completely collapse in this scene. He’s still fierce, but that’s inspired by Scorpius, who’s the strong one, the one holding everything up. Scorpius is using everything he gained in the Voldemort timeline to be solid and keep fighting and refuse to be broken, and Albus latches onto that.
I don’t think Mackley nodded to say that yes he would go along with Delphi this time, but I’ve talked to both him and Theo about what it means when it does happen, and it’s a ploy. It’s to convince her that he’s going to go along with her, and buy himself and Scorpius (mostly Scorpius) time. And even if it’s not that, even if it’s just a total, fearful collapse, I can sort of understand that too.
The way Mackley plays Albus’s reaction to Craig’s death is to fall apart, all his fight and self-confidence imploding, and I see why. It’s not that event that destroys him, that’s just the tipping point, it’s that on top of everything that’s happened.
When Albus decides to destroy the Time-Turner, it’s because he’s already so broken by the thought of the damage he’s caused. This is a boy who (according to Theo) has nightmares about anything bad happening to his family. In everything that’s happened in the show to this point, all that Albus has done is hurt people, and he’s very much aware of that. He’s caused damage to the whole world, to his family, and to Scorpius, and in destroying the Time-Turner he set out to put all that right, but all he’s done is get someone else killed, for which he fully blames himself. So of course he collapses! It’s the despair of a kid who wants to do some good and still fucks up.
At his lowest point in this scene he must question whether he’s worthy of anything (Scorpius’s friendship, his dad’s love, any of it), if this is what his impact on the world is. Maybe this is what the Sorting Hat saw in him, this potential for complete and utter destruction.
In the context of a good, kind, loving boy, who just wants friendship and for his dad to appreciate him, it’s heart breaking. He’s heroic and noble, and so much like his dad – he takes the weight of everything on his shoulders. And for a kid like that to get to the point he reaches in this scene is devastating. It’s the opposite of everything he wants to be, and he really thinks it’s all his fault, even though so much of it has come from his manipulation.
So that was the revelation I reached, watching Mackley in this scene. I’ve finally come full circle, and figured out exactly where he was going with Albus on the 17th of September. I’ve learned a lot about Albus in the last three months, and I’m really glad I have, because now I can appreciate how that Albus that confused me so much is still the same as my Albus.
Another person who I had a minor revelation about in this show was James Howard. If you know me you’ll know that James has been my Draco ever since I saw his very first performance. I’ve loved him every step of the way. And on Saturday I managed to pin down one of the reasons I adore his Draco so very much.
James has nailed Draco’s instinct for both self-preservation, and the need to protect his son. He plays a Draco who has clearly learned so much from his life experiences, who knows how to behave in duels, and around instances of Dark Magic, and who knows how to do all sorts of difficult spells. But he’s also learned these sort of worldly instincts, things like how to handle hierarchy in a situation, when it’s his place to step in and fight, and when to let someone else take charge and trust that they’ll do a good job. When he’s functioning in a group and not as a lone wolf, he’s brilliant, despite his social awkwardness and how afraid he is.
He knows how to survive all sorts of situations, because he’s seen so much, done so much, experienced heartbreak and failure and true fear. Everything he does in the play is about survival, it’s that instinct to keep himself and his son going, whether it’s in the Voldemort timeline when he’s defending their position, or when he knows Scorpius has been kidnapped, or when he’s fighting Delphi with the group. He can manoeuvre around all those situations, and James makes that feel so real, like such a basic instinct for Draco.
He makes his acting choices, and the person he sees Draco as being, feel entirely real, entirely ingrained, and his thoughts and ideas are like pure instinct and mannerism. There’s no separation between him and Draco, and it’s an incredible thing that I’m in awe of and would love to know how he pulls off.
I’ve now seen Morag as the Station Mistress twice! I actually saw her first show, which I think was a surprise to the cast as much as to us – James McGregor was listed on the cast board, so that first time she was a last minute substitution.
The second time was definitely better from all sides. Having her as a surprise was very cool, but also sort of threw off the whole balance of the scene, and it was better with practice, because the boys had to switch up their lines, and she had to figure out where to stand on the stage to make the scene work.
I’ve spoken to a lot of people who seem to prefer Martin’s Amos to his Dumbledore, but I’m actually the opposite. Although I’ve warmed to his Amos now I’m used to it, I think the standout is his Dumbledore, which is really fascinating.
He gives Dumbledore so much fragility and pain. Although his Amos is a lot more solid-feeling than Barry’s, his Dumbledore really isn’t. His Dumbledore is fracturing at the seams and falling apart. It’s not a take I’ve thought of before, but I love it a lot, especially in the context of Martin’s theory that Dumbledore and Amos’s grief is what makes them so similar.
I can’t remember if I did Cackle Watch with Alex last year, but I’m certainly doing it with James. I have this theory that the destiny of everyone who plays Draco is to end up cackling when they say “maybe it’ll be mine soon enough”. I think it’s an inevitability of inhabiting that character for a year. It just happens. Alex did it, and now James is just proving the point, because every show he sneaks just a teeny bit closer to cackling there. At the moment it’s still a laugh (albeit an evil one), but soon... Soon we shall achieve full cackle.
Having raved about James, because I think he’s perfect, I do want to pull up one thing he does that’s getting increasingly annoying and frustrating with every show, and that is the way he delivers “she wanted me to have someone when she left”. He does this stupid, unnecessary, really fake pretend sob as he says it, and his voice cracks, and maybe it’s just me having seen him do it *cough* number of times, but it’s irritating, and I wish he’d stop.
The emotion he generates in that speech about Astoria and Scorpius is so beautiful, he does an amazing job, and I feel like the fake sob throws away all his hard work. It doesn’t need to be there to make him sound emotional. I’ve seen some absolutely stunning versions of that speech, and I wish he would have the confidence or whatever it is he needs to just see that through, rather than trying to ‘sound emotional’ and ruining the real, natural atmosphere he’s created.
A gorgeous thing he does in this scene, once he’s come back from the awful fake emotion, is to cradle the Time-Turner after Harry says “and nor will a Time-Turner, I’m afraid”. That thing contains all his hope of saving Astoria and Scorpius. It contains everyone he loves in the world. It’s all he has left at this point in the play. If the show ended after that scene, Draco would be left only with a gold Time-Turner, and the knowledge that he could search for centuries and never manage to get his beloved family back, and that is heartbreaking and wonderful. He cradles it like a baby, like he’s holding a much younger Scorpius safe in his arms, with so much gentleness. It’s Draco’s saddest moment of the play.
The best thing about a Mackley and Samuel show is Godric’s Hollow, when they just go wild. This wasn’t the wildest one I’ve seen from these two (I still fondly remember the 17th of September when it was both of their last shows before a break, and they went totally nuts and Mackley made Samuel corpse), but it was lovely, the culminating moment being when they both leapt into the air an inch apart and I truly thought for a second that we were going to get a dorky Scorbus chest bump, which might actually have killed me. They did not actually do a chest bump, but we were so close. I hope they do it one day. It would be wonderful.
I put in my bullet point plan of this recap that I should mention the snow in Mackley’s hair so... here we are. Mackley has the perfect hair for collecting snow. It just sits there, all nestled in the fluff. It’s great.
I have about ten thousand favourite things about Samuel’s performance, but one of my most beloved elements is what he does when the seven are looking for the perfect place to wait for Delphi. Obviously in the script, Hermione is the one who spots St Jerome’s as a great hiding place, but over the summer, Samuel started having Scorpius sort of point it out a few seconds before she spotted it. He would sort of look between here and the clock, and surreptitiously point. She didn’t notice for a long time, until one glorious show when she turned round and caught him. Ever since then, spotting St Jerome’s has become a collaborative effort between Scorpius and Hermione, and it’s such a sweet moment between them. I love that Samuel throws in fun little things like that.
At the line “It was Rodolphus Lestrange, Bellatrix’s loyal husband’ Annabel changes Rodolphus for Bellatrix, resulting in a momentary pause as she considered how to escape from this fuck up, and in which I freaked out, as I do when these things happen. She almost recovered perfectly. The line got a teeny bit warped but what can you do? The most astounding thing about it was that Annabel messed up a line, because I feel like she never does that! Everything is always so natural and in the moment, and flows so well, that it seems as though she is Delphi. She delivers the lines differently every show, just going with how the mood takes her, and it’s that naturalness that’s always so impressive with her.
The hug in this one between the Malfoys when Lily and James are being killed was utterly heartbreaking. When Voldemort was confronting Lily, Draco was already kissing Scorpius’s hair and trying to comfort him, and the second she was hit with the Killing Curse, Scorpius grabbed his dad as tight as he could and hid himself in his arms, with Draco cradling him and protecting him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them hug so fiercely.
And then, to make everything worse, when the seven were spinning away on the turntable at the end of the scene, I could see Scorpius shifting his hands on his dad’s back, like he was trying to hold onto more and more of him, as much as he possibly could. There was so much desperate need, and love and support there. It was beautiful.
I love a good penultimate scene, especially when there’s adorable teasing and stuff going on.
Recently, when the staircase gets wheeled on at the start of the scene, Samuel has started bouncing around and getting all hyper and excitable before anything has even happened – it reminds me a lot of when he’s tapping his fingers together with excitement for the start of the dorm scene. His Scorpius is full of constant energy and hyperactivity – he must have been an exhausting child; I almost feel sorry for Draco and Astoria.
Mackley does a great teasing Albus. I remember him flapping his robes at Scorpius, laughing about Rose, all sorts. I think all the Albuses have picked up on the way Helen flails her robes when she says “Scorpion King”, and are determined to mock it. Also, I love Mackley’s “and she said no”, which is sort of sung all dramatic and opera style, and ends with him cackling. Like I say, teasing Albus is great.
I can’t talk about this scene without talking about Samuel’s delivery of the new version of us line, which is so utterly unacceptable, and only gets worse every time I see the show. He says it so slowly. It’s so painfully and beautifully uncertain and heartfelt. It’s like Scorpius is navigating his feelings along with the words. He goes so softly and carefully through it, picking his way from word to word, and it’s that uncertainty that makes it real, and gives it weight.
You can tell how important it is to Scorpius to say what he’s saying and say it well. And like he’s said at stage door, this is a moment where the boys know something has changed between them; that it’s something incredibly important, but not yet quite what it is or what it means. That is what Scorpius is trying to put into words here, and Samuel does it with such beautiful, tentative, meaningful perfection. I could write songs about the hope that the end of this scene brings. It’s exceptional.
I’m not going to end the recap on a low note by talking about Mackley’s pigeon racing line – just know that it was so cringey this show (the worst I’ve seen) that I almost crawled under my seat and hid. Other things from the final scene, though, include the ending of the fabulous arc Mackley sets up around Craig’s death and how it impacts on Albus, and ultimately on the repair of his relationship with Harry.
I also really want to touch on one of my favourite bits of meta from the show, which I’ve really grown to love recently. It requires a tiny bit of backtracking to the scene with Hagrid in the house after Lily and James’s deaths. At this point, the back wall of the theatre retracts, so there’s a gap between the brick wall and the arch detailing. It creates the effect that Hagrid really is standing in the ruins of a house, with just a barebones structure around him.
But at the end of this scene, the back wall stays retracted, and as the fire fades, the impression is not so much of a ruin, but of a structure, a scaffolding, something solid and new and bare that can be built around. And building is what’s happening in these last two scenes, when Scorpius and Albus try to figure out where their friendship is now, and as Harry and Albus tentatively explore how to be a good father and son for each other.
I absolutely love this tiny bit of a set design. I think it’s brilliant. Everything has been torn away, stripped back and laid bare. They’ve all revealed so much of themselves in the last Act, and now they’re starting from a new foundation. They’re going to start building something new together, using the tentative scaffolding of the experiences they’ve shared and the things they’ve learned, and it’s not going to be easy, but they’ll make it work. I think that back wall symbolises hope, and growth, and the future.
So there we go. A recap! It’s not full of every tiny detail (because I would have to write a novel and I don’t need to start a second one of those), but this show was good enough to be worth something, because it was so full of insight, and just such an interesting experience.
I’m a repeat viewer of this show because I always want to learn about the characters and the story and the technicality of this play, so any performance that teaches me as much as this one did is a real standout in my books.
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sapphicfolksongs · 8 years ago
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over 3 years ago i filled out this short lil survey because i was bored. this was before i started college, before i started “really” dating, before i knew what i was going to do with my life, before i made most of my current best friends, while i still lived at home... so forth and so on. my life is pretty different now so anyway, i thought it’d be fun to do a before and after sort of thing. for ma blog records. ya know.
(bold is first answer, three years ago; normal font is present.)
1. The meaning behind my URL
Makes sense if you’re in the DW fandom, i s'pose. Basically I just liked the way “bay” sounds like “babe,” you know, in a way, and Rose Tyler is a total babe… but the url was already taken so there are, alas, two l’s.
My blog used to have a DW focus and now it’s primarily t100. I sort of stopped watching DW after the 12th doctor arrived (but honestly I think I stopped mostly because I started college). I started watching t100 and just got obsessed so quickly. My URL now is a combination of “rebel” and “bellarke” (bc life) and I like how “rebellark” without the e in bellarke also kinda references the ark.
2. A picture of me
lol this is such an awk picture
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here’s another for balance
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those pictures were in my old house! that makes me so sad. also, notice how I’m repping my Boston University shirt pretty hard. surprise, surprise: didn’t end up going there. plot twist: glad I didn’t.
anyway, some updated selfies-
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basically the same except i’ve adopted lipstick on special occasions and have discovered that eyebrows are a powerful secret weapon
3. Tattoos I have
nope none, probably will never have any either. needles freak me out and i get over things way too quickly. last thing i need is to hate this permanent design on my skin eh
same. like i’ve thought about it more, have actually made a pinterest board dedicated to possible ideas!! but i am still fickle. still afraid of needles. i like the idea more as i get older. would like to get one with my brother. i guess we’ll see.
4. Last time I cried and why
I got into UT! It was happy crying. I literally thought I wouldn’t be accepted; it’s one of the hardest (if not the hardest) state school to get into if you’re not in the top 7%, and I’m not. I literally had a breakdown. I don’t even know if I’m going, I was just thrilled that someone actually wanted me. You knowwww??  
this is so funny to me. i’m always glad i had that reaction because it was just... pure joy. relief. wonder. i never thought i’d get in. now i’ve just finished my third year there. i love it. it’s been crazy. it’s changed my life. it’s caused my unbelievable stress and tears at times but it’s also been arguably the best time of my life. 
anyway, on to the question - i cry a lot lmao. i don’t even remember what i last cried about or when. it was probably a combination of school stress + work stress + life stress (what am I doing, ya know?) + boy stress. it’s been like two-ish months since i got dumped but it’s still sorta lingering in my mind and it’s been rough. but i’m giving myself a break, letting myself breathe (letting my heart breathe, let’s be real) and letting myself feel. so tears are welcome. though i hate the build up of emotions to it [sigh]
5. Piercings I have
My ears. I don’t really like piercings all that much. I might like a cartilage or something. I also like belly-button piercings, but I don’t have the body for that, and ow, and lots of other things.
lol yeah same. i don’t even wear earrings so what’s the point
6. Favorite Band
At the moment, Bastille! Imagine Dragons is also a long time favorite of mine.
and then a year or two later I’d see both of those bands in concert!! that’s so cool. i’m so happy i got to see those bands with my friends (and now i am sighing dreamily at those concert posters in my room). anyway, these dudes will still be my faves for a long time coming. but recently i’ve really enjoyed listening to MAX. his songs are fucking bomb like i love all of them.
7. Biggest turn off(s)
Jerkiness. Rudeness. That really, REALLY bothers me most of anything.
i feel as if I remember answering this question and though of course most people hate “rudeness,” i didn’t have enough experience with dating really to know what i disliked. which is how i got where i am today. wonderful! lol. but no, i can safely say my biggest turn-off is not being listened to. when someone feels like they are the only person that matters or is interesting, and treats you as if you are not interesting. i am a human being - and an important one! - with a full, interesting, crazy life, and i deserve to be treated like i’m important by the people i associate myself with. and all other things that that entails. 
10. Biggest turn on(s)
Nice hair. I also really like guys with nice, uh, hips? Like thin and stuff you know? That sort of lean but a little muscular look. Idk that nineteen year old boy look. Sooo beautiful lolll. Also, sort of faux-hawk hair, it’s a bit of a fad but I’m starting to really like it. And long sleeved dress shirts rolled up to the elbow. And you know what- just overall polite guys. That’s really important and very attractive. Oh, and a sense of humor! Wow. This was a bit of a list.
nice smile and nice laugh. i love falling for someone and having their laugh stuck in your head, hearing it when you text them or when someone mentions their name. 
11. Age
Eighteen!
twenty-one.
12. Ideas of a perfect date
Fun & comfortable, and just a tad romantic :) I don’t know what, though. Anything spontaneous, wild- or calm. One or the other, no in between!
i would agree with 18 year old anna. something comfortable where i’m able to talk to the other person, without feeling like we’re on stage or too exposed. good conversation, easy laughs, experiencing something new. i love (and hate) revisiting places i went to on dates because they overflow with memories. good and bad. but i think making new memories like that is the best kind of date.
13. Life goal(s)
Be a writer! Published before I’m, eh, 25?
wtf anna. *sssiiiggghhh* little did I know that I would stop writing almost entirely once i got to college! idk why. it’s something i’ve struggled with immensely, my loss of “identity” as a writer. i will probably not be published by 25. not in the way i wanted, anyway. i did join the paper at college and had quite a few articles published but a book is far from the works for me.
my life goals would be to write creatively, though, in some format. if i can. if i still have the motivation and the drive... i want to be nice to myself. i would also like to be independent, and happy. 
15. Relationship status
In a relationship with a wonderful guy. Been just a little over 5 months now.
update on that relationship: we dated for a year and then i went to college. after a few months in college, i dated (a little.. like, a very little little) and ultimately regretted breaking up with aforementioned HS boyfriend. that spring break we met up and talked; he wanted to get back together, but i decided i wasn’t ready. we’ve talked probably only a few times since (it’s been like 2 years). i’m back in a stage where i’d like to try again. i think i needed to grow up and mature to really be ready to be in a relationship with him, and i think i’m there now. unfortunately he’s been dating a girl for like a year now, so that’s a no-go, and obv i’m no home wrecker (not intentionally anyway - long story!) but i think if there’s ever a time where he’s single and i’m single... i might try again. 
anyway, as i mentioned earlier, was recently dumped (by somebody else, unrelated) so i’m basically the most single i’ve been in a while. i’m sort of enjoying it but also kind of bored/anxious/fearful of being alone forever, etc etc, also quite afraid of another rejection and the whole process of getting to know someone and.. ugh dating is ugly and gross. anyway. i’m single. i’m so rambley. my apologies friends
16. Favorite movie
You know what movie I really liked, and will go on and on and on forever about? Wuthering Heights. I think it was the last one that was released, I’m not sure- but that shit was beautiful, man.
ah haha hahaha ha my favorite movie is pride and prejudice. it’s the only movie i can see several times and not get sick of. why am i such a predictable period drama lovin’ hoe
17. A fact about my life
I’m going to college to study English and/or Pyschology!
dropped english after a semester, fell in love with psych (i was a TA of sorts for this really popular Pysch 101 class with two really famous psych professors) but ultimately i decided to pursue elementary education. i’m about to start student teaching and i’ll be in a third grade classroom! 
18. Phobia
Cockroaches. Fire. Erm… Death and oblivion and the sort of unknown realm of things. Dark, sort of.
same ahahaha also, i’m afraid of a bad marriage? or no marriage at all. i’m afraid i’ll be afraid to be alone and end up in a bad marriage. i’ve got love and lost love and bad love on my mind lately. it’s like a phase or something
19. Middle name
MARIE. Such a boring name. I wish it’d been Belle or Bella so I could have been Anna Belle or Anna Bella. Or Annabelle or whatever…
it is the same and i hold the same thoughts in regard to my middle name as i did at 18 years old
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